I relate entirely. Ive spent a night with half of them, but the only time im okay is when Ive had some alcohol and Im tired of that so when i dont want to drink i end up staying in my bedroom and I feel so alone. I havent clicked with any of my flat mates because theyre all in to different things than me, I do get along with them but were not close so throughout freshers I only saw them for drinking and even that was a bit uncomfortable! I don't like my living situation, I have to work all the hours God sends to make ends meet and I've lost my social life. I needed to read this. Right now Im in second semester and have only 1 friend who I see in lectures which I guess is better than a group of fake friends. University was a disaster for me. You are important and youll find people you click with, and in the mean time, Im a friend from a far. Thank you very much! I just didn't feel like I related to them at all, we'd all go out together and I would feel like going home, locking myself in my room and sobbing. Uni is such a different experience for everyone. Even the teaching on my course leaves so much to be desired. No one came to help, I was treated as a joke, even when I tried to break out of the mould. I think it definitely has it ups and downs. I feel so not good enough since she dropped me. Id also joined the netball society in first term as a way to make friends outside of the flat and Im so glad I did! Your health and wellbeing is always more important than anything and trust me, it wont get any easier ive been there. Because of all the stress from the bullying I struggled to make friends outside my halls, meaning I never got accepted into a 'group', and didn't get the opportunity for a student house. I'm currently almost at the end of my second year and I am SO glad that somebody else had similar feelings. I've genuinely felt like some sort of failure for feeling this way about what most people look back on as an amazing time. I feel like I can't continue. >>, UCAT (formerly UKCAT) 2023 entry megathread, Free food on A-level / BTEC / GCSE results day 2022. I also know what it's like to feel anxious. I find it hard, so I can imagine how youre feeling. x, It's a shame you feel like this, but I'm glad things are getting better now. I started Leeds Beckett University just two weeks ago and I already feel like I'm not going to make any friends as when I look around either people have came to university knowing another person or groups have instantly formed when I wasn't looking. x, Thank you so much for posting this. Oops, this function's disabled for copyright protection. Find me talking honestly about travelling on a budget and trying to live more sustainably. Im just reading this now in 2017 and I can honestly say its helped so much. They were nice people, dont get me wrong (and at least their music taste was good) but I spent many a night in my room alone wondering why I wasnt the same as everybody else. but sometimes making the sacrifice to be drunk half the time and high the other half, just to b part of the group is a bit too much. I have done various modelling for small agencies however, nothing big. I havent started my course yet but Im going to wait until afterwards. I didn't go out and party all that much but I loved it. Stress,heartbreak and homesickness! Today Im going to speak about something that has pretty much changed me completely in the last couple of years. I typically fell into a pattern of partying and drinking in my first year at uni, feeling influenced in this crazy culture and taken advantage of, due to my caring, kind but naive nature. While this might be the case, it may also be that the modules youre currently taking arent ones that interest you. While this means that your second year of university counts less towards your degree classification than the third, a good score in . Balancing University Life With Normal Life? I an acquainted to a few of my ex-flatmates, but i think they think i bore them cause i never once went out with them (come on they usually ask me to go out thursday nights, and i always have assignments due the next day)..i say hi and stuff, but that is about it. Then in third year, my boyfriend moved back to his hometown and I couldn't live at my uni town alone. Please really reconsider the very idea of going back to uni so soon. Here, youll meet like-minded people who you already have one thing in common with and everyone else is there to make friends too. I hope some of you resolve things the way i feel i have, despite some minor hiccups here and there. I'm feeling really left out and can't be bothered with people who behave this way at their age. First year is definitely the hardest, but once you get into a routine it usually settles down. I am sticking it out as this is the only way to get the career I want in the future. I know exactly how you feel, I always feel so out of it, if you ever want to get in touch and chat just tweet me or something! I promise you that itll get better. I hope you feel the same too someday xx. I managed to make a couple of friends but they've begun to get quite cliquey with eachother and don't really include me in anything. Before you make these decisions, consult your personal tutor or course leader, your course office and administrator, the student support service, as well as the careers service in your university. Now I'm in my second year and relatively happy with where I am. Though I did make conversation with the people around me as the tutors insisted on this ice breaker, I didn't 'click' with anyone enough to be able to ask for their number or anything like that. The only thing thats making me stay are my monthly expensive trips hope for the orthodontist over three days bathe five and my corse because thats what I want to do but otherwise I cant survive. It was so hard, mainly because I didnt want to seem like a failure in comparison to all my friends that were loving it, but also not to burden my family. Thanks, Aww I'm really sorry to hear you've had a hard time! Uni just isnt right for some people and if its effecting your well-being or if you are truly unhappy there is nothing wrong with walking away. I wrote a letter to the Fresher version of myself and it really put things in perspective. Uni advice and experiences: visit our student life hub, Copyright The Student Room 2022 all rights reserved. I only really know one girl on my course, as she was a flatmate in my first year, but even then we don't really sit together very often, we dont talk outside of lectures, and I dont speak to her over holidays or anything. Hey hun, I don't think I have experienced the "typical" uni experience either, although I can't say it was the same as yours either. Then, although I was going to uni locally in Liverpool, I took the attitude of obviously Im not living at home during uni, partaaaayyyy and moved my little self over into halls. All my flat mates are nice and I go out with them and stuff but sometimes I feel like would they really care if I wasn't there? . If you truly hate the experience and end up feeling depressed, please be sure to talk to someone and seek help if you need to drop out, theres no shame in that either. If youre concerned that your unhappiness may be more serious, and that it may be associated with anxiety or depression, then you should consult your universitys mental health service. Since I don't really enjoy uni I go home most weekends as it makes me feel a lot better but when I come back I just feel so depressed and upset. Mainly as I don't often go so it's no surprise I don't know anyone when I do. University, 51% of first-year university students found moving away from home a lot easier than they had first expected. Everyone is so proud of me right now for coming to university, I feel like id be letting them all down. You did help me . Things you really enjoyed that future generations won't get to experience? The same old broken record being excluded inexplicably (no one ever tells you why they dont want you), the tears, the hiding away in your room and doing the bare minimum to get through the degree. I think this is because she has found more popular friends. You will find that not attending lectures will cause you . And recently the topic of house hunting has come up and no one has really said they want to live with me luckily I've made friends in a society but most of them are in 2nd year so already have housemates. FINISHED TRANSCRIPT EIGHTH INTERNET GOVERNANCE FORUM BALI BUILDING BRIDGES - ENHANCING MULTI-STAKEHOLDER COOPERATION FOR GROWTH AND SUSTAINABLE DEVELOPMENT 25 OCTOBER 2013 14:30 OPEN MIC SESSION ***** This text is being provided in a rough draft format. And I dunno, I just let rip about how it's been the worst experience of my life. 1) You're simply in the wrong job Sometimes the problem is that you're just in the wrong job. Much love x. I started uni in September and since then have made no friends and feel really lonely. xo. "Submission [to God]") is an Abrahamic monotheistic religion centred primarily around the Quran, a religious text considered by Muslims to be the direct word of God (or Allah) as it was revealed to Muhammad, the main and final Islamic prophet. My boyfriend was ever so patient with me despite everything and now we are happier than we have ever been. I suppose I'm asking for advice from someone who has gone through something similar! Im only 4 weeks into my first year but seem to be struggling to make solid friends Its not for lack of trying, i just feel like everyone in my course has already made little cliques and I somehow missed out during the friendship group forming time I get homesick regularly as well which doesnt help. Next year, I'm living alone and one of my modules is a placement module so hopefully, I'll be able to feel a bit more optimistic and link my learning to my goals more easily but honestly, I can't wait to graduate. Being at uni is horrible at times because I feel like im surrounded by people who just dont fully understand me, im not sure if that sounds stupid? Use your second year to learn about yourself and your study habits, because not only will it help you with your degree, it may also come in handy after graduation. All Rights Reserved. If youre in first year, generally give it at least until Christmas before you consider leaving. it seems like uni is just taking too long to end and the process is just not enjoyable as the majority of poeple say. , I am so glad I found this blog post. Looking back, I didnt quite consider how much of a leap leaving school was: 2010 was probably the happiest year of my life up until September. I did manage to start a conversation as I was sitting next to this girl for a few hours but again I didnt even get her name and it didn't progress from there. If you do decide to leave or change courses, your university will be able to help you with the next steps. Chat to other students here! You might realise that youre not eating much or very healthily and that your sleeping pattern is erratic. It's in fact a total myth. He quit during his second year. I can imagine how hard it must be to go to university in a foreign country, youre incredibly brave to come! I dont enjoy it at all. xx, I'm really glad I came across this post. If you do decide to leave or change courses, your university will be able to help you with the next steps. Im so glad im not the only one who hasnt enjoyed this experience, and Im glad its nearly over, Hey Sarah, thanks for your comment! You always here about people absolutely loving uni, so it is such a relief to know that not everyone loves it. (Start typing, we will pick a forum for you), Taking a break or withdrawing from your course. I struggled making friends (no idea why. Planning something like that even if it's job hunting for a career you're really interested in, or a day trip away somewhere makes things loads better! I feel very lonely and miss my friends (who are all loving uni) and it's hard. Get advice from tutors about what you can do to resolve any academic issues, in case you do decide to stay. Most of my of my tutor group are older students so they commute or live in different halls and the overall 'experience' is making me want to drop out which is quite pathetic but I'm really not enjoying myself (not even the course) and I'm really homesick. I spin tales to my parents but in truth, I'm lonely as hell, but I'm really trying. This did not occur. Check out the landmarks and museums and go for a meal or coffee by yourself. Learn how your comment data is processed. they say that the best years of your life are in uni; but for me the best are in high school and at uni is so full of contrasts: best and worst things happen all together. We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out. I have my good days, and my bad, but I'm on the path to gaining more good days than bad. yeah be yourself and all, but hmm to stand out in the crowd you must put some effort in being the best version of yourself. If youre struggling with, or just not enjoying your course, you should talk to your personal tutor to discuss what you should do about this. Check out our blog post for tips on how to deal with it. I followed a friend here thinking it was a great idea. Silly, yes, but you know, it did not make me sad, just feeling weird, and kind of left out. Similarly, you may decide soon after starting that your course isnt for you. Thank you so much for this post, its helped billions. Im constantly under stress and developed the habit of just staying at home the majority of the time and chillin in bed. The Student Room, Get Revising and The Uni Guide are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd. Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. x, It's definitely one of the loneliest times of life, I think for more people than anybody realises! Remember, changing your mind after realizing something isn't right for you isn't a bad thing. If youre struggling with University all I can say is that this is not the end. In september I started a new university and was certain this would be better. The university Im at now is one of the best for my degree and the one back Home is quite far down the league tables but I wouldnt be made to do minor subjects and I feel Id be happier and work better. The reality is that university is tough, and even if you are coping with your course workload, there are many other aspects of university that can make it an unpleasant experience. We are using cookies to give you the best experience on our website. The whole sitting by myself in lectures really doesn't bother me though. Even when I moved home, my depression continued for a good few months and the amount of times I went into my mums bedroom, lay on the bed and just cried were numerous and distressing. Just to say "yep that's me" only I'm a third year. Its like a nightmare every single day. For anyone reading this now who is questioning wether uni is right for them, I hope this might give you a bit of hope or a better idea of what to do in your situation. At school, you probably know most people - at least by sight. Stumbled upon this post by chance, and I'm glad I did; I feel much less alone now. Our expert teams can help start your academic journey by guiding you through the application process. I spent the last two days crying in my room and I realised this morning how much this sucked. My only saving grace was very high levels of perseverance. I really hope that this has helped in some way or another and just know that youre definitely not alone. I went to Uni in Sept '12 and felt the exact same way. It's on my blog. Thus far, it's been shit. I gave up so much to be here and every day, I question whether or not it's worth it. I am not friends with my flatmates so I never get out of my room unless I have a lecture. My course constantly changes and moves around so finding people to befriend is so hard, one month they'll be in your class and the next they've been moved around yet again. I don't even think there's a newspaper that I could get involved with lol. Anyway, I think university is hyped up way too much, almost to a level where it's realistically impossible to match these expectations. Do get therapy, even just to objectify your thoughts, to hear them aloud and to try and break some of them down with somebody who is external to your life. I know in myself I wouldnt have liked it any longer and Im okay to admit that, I know myself and I think its important for others to not get swayed by people saying to just stick it out and see if it hurts you go back home. I'm still here because I know that I want to go into teaching and I need this degree. In terms of courses friends the big difference really came in second year. In response to timetokill, I'm doing an English lit/English language degree but my university's useless when it comes to societies because they're mostly sports-related. Looking back, I didn't quite consider how much of a leap leaving school was: 2010 was probably the happiest year of my life up until . But alas i guess in a way i caved into the pressure and stayed on. Uni is meant to build confidence and academically it has, but I have never felt more inadequate in social situations. I feel that the person I was and the people around me made university a very difficult stage in my life.
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