Unfortunately, his behaviors cause the relationships within a family to be toxic and can cause lifelong wounds. I could go on and on about this and give out thousands of more examples of why Ive come to hate my father more than any other person. I grew up with a NPD father. I have allowed my father to be in my life for far too long. I think she didnt tell me because she didnt want me to worry. Theres a pond of water that the scorpion he needs to cross but cant. He treated my mom like dirt and even threatened to kill her before she finally decided to leave. I referred to her by those names, for the rest of her life. My sister had a very different relationship with him and din;t want much to do with him. Ive realized that in hanging onto a dream that maybe even though we are divorced, that he might want to actually build a father daughter relationship with his daughter, that it wont happen. But thats not the point. .. its all wrong guys. They can be very bright, kind, considerate, or sensitivenone of this matters to the narcissistic father. My mother never did anything to stop it, because she was too worried about herself. Im worried that Im going to end up dating and getting married to a narc in the future . (I dont actually mean this, but hope it will give you a laugh.). Except two of my brothers killed themselves. The mourning process was all about him, always. He wants you to fail so he can be propped up. According to most of the daughters Ive worked with over the past decades, yes. Summary: It's your typical historical rebirth story, only BL. Keep in mind my back story is rife with a cheating husband and another womans kids in my daughters life. His estranged children plucked up the courage to reveal the horrific nature of the abuse they suffered at the hands of their father, who ran a dictatorial regime from the family home in Windsor, Berks. I am very well aware of your situation coming from a very similar household and Indian culture. He doesnt think he should help me. But three years later, 2016, I questioned religion and here I am. I have PTSD and life is so hard. He assures me that I have done a good job, and he is appreciative, knowing how difficult my own childhood was. Just as he had tried to justify trying to kill my mum and his attempts to starve us out of the house, putting sand in the car so it broke down and my mum couldnt get to work (she needed to work to continue to keep the house going- she received no other income). He was six foot weighing 16 stone, I was just a small child. lol I guess that is part of the mourning of knowing the father I thought I knew was nothing but a mirage and wishful thinking. So now it all comes out again, and he resumes his abusive ways. Sons of narcissistic fathers They describe feeling that they can never measure up. Thank you for this article! First Father: a Film Emperor Second Father: a Taoist master Third Father: a billionaire tyrant Its self protective but doesnt lead to healthy relationships. Hilarious . Not aware of the dynamics of narcissism, she went from a cruel, tyrannical father to a brutal, domineering husband. The narcissist then called us to the table to have a talk. A recently posted photograph of a closed McDonald's outlet has taken the internet by storm. How much more suffering can I endure??? Anxiously avoiding commitment or taking on the narcissistic role are both natural ways for the daughters to keep relationships safe. Now I am stuck having to take csre of him because he is too good to have a job! We fight then get along up and down. To be a loving and kind and compassionate person? Dad will change his mind on a whim, based on the availability of or threat to narcissistic supply. A FITNESS tyrant dad who made his daughter sign a lifetime contract promising to never get fat has been jailed. The dilemma is my dad thinks I owe him and should take care of my mom all the time. Continue looking for your own place. I have always assumed that there is something inheritly wrong with ME and the way I interact! I love him because he is my father and I grieve for the relationship I will never have with him. Through spiritual development and extensive reading it gave me tremendous self confidence to deal with him.Life gets better when you stand up and fight for your beliefs. Anyone else experience something like this? He is not worthy of ONE SECOND of your thought. He has disinherited me and told me that if I divorce my loving husband of 30 years then maybe that will change his decision on the will. My Dad promised me the moon, but never followed through either due to the fact he was talking at me to abandon me or just manipulating me to get me to act instrumentally on his every whim and need. Im in the long process of gaining myself! At my 40s and only at my 40s I am aware now I was a victim of a psycopath. John Stossel - Gun Control Reduces Crime MYTH?http://naturalnews.tv/v.asp?v=A3A4A9C7E8925F4990DCCEF8AC3D2957John Lott: More Guns, Less Crime 1/2http://naturalnews.tv/v.asp?v=1B4B116B3D2B8D97A94ADCAEF90C763FAlso watch this fantastic expose on the recent history of Population disarmament that will OPEN YOUR EYES and blow you away as to the very REAL DANGERS people in the U.S. are facing from the ever increasing Gun control laws! They obsessed over making it look like we had money and sent me to private schools. But the last thing they want is for you to do any better than they did. Forgive yourself for falling for his poker face lies. Praise Papa that He died so we can be free! I was there as well, infuriating, frustrating and heart breaking, Beautiful this is my dad. Ever heard of it Andrew? Be aware that you sir are a good person and if you came up to here, its because your not satisfied and needed answers and i can tell you one of them: Revenge is going to be worse. Underneath: AI will replace all of us because we are not willing to do the job we applied for. If things get too negative for you, ask another relative or a friend if you could stay with them for a while. Fingers crossed. I really understand how you want to bring your father down in revenge for his abuse on you. email me if you want to talk. Our nervous system is destroyed but my father cant notice it , he is saying that he is the best husband and best father ever and if you dare to refuse , he will got crazy :)))) I am 26 and still he controls what I wear , where I work , what time I have to come back at home . Although hes worst and Im young Im still unhappy with the damage I caused my child and my boyfriends. He wants to talk to me again, but I will reiterate my love for family, that I tried to be there for mom, and tell him it was best for me to leave the business. Be patient, kind and and compassionate with yourself. If you are looking for the clinic, it's closed today. I totally cut them off for years. If you stay in touch, he will continue the abuse and try to draw you back in. He was a militant alcoholic.Gave everyone of the kids, and my mom, some kind of complex, or another. My dad is a NPD and has bipolar disorder. I thought love was something you could win. They describe feeling that they can never measure up. My older brother left when he was 18, he started out as the golden child but when he started to gain confidence, my father turned on him. I have no friends left and hang on to Gods promise that he will never leave me. She needs a plan to survive her doomed fate, and time is running out. My mom passed away on September 21, 2013 and I was left with the tyrannical bully that abused her. I accepted him for who he was. when they devorced several years ago, he decided to start these acts on me. The bottom line is he never grew up and changed a bit, no matter what any one says especially a woman. Mum never could stand up to dad, all of us girls adore my brother hes a great mix hes a tough man but hes so gentle, he helps mum in the garden without being asked, fixes shelves when hes asked and does it the way we want unlike dad who knows best about everything and does nothing the way we want it. If you don't pay enough for people to think it's worthwhile to work there, that is the labor market deciding on a rate. even the house we lived in was picked out (in my opinion) because it was one house away from a guy my father wanted to drink with, another party boy. But also be open, let your child see that its okay to talk about their feelings. they wouldnt understand why so much hate you would give to him. Fortunately, the plot wasn't over when she transmigrated and Jiang Mian decided to get along with her four fathers. He has now alienated me, telling me I cant talk to my friends and the guy iIm dating cant even come to pick me up. I havent see any of my family for the past year except my youngest brother a couple of times. This describes him so well, and that both scares and saddens me. It is so utterly disturbing that even if you confront the narcissist with the most extreme cases of their own disgusting behavior, they will find a way to turn it on you. God, it scares the hell out of me that IM the normal parent! Shes but on some weight from her new diet and medication but Im like who cares shes happy. I have not explained why as he will only twist things or turn nasty. No one has ever purposely sabotaged me in so many ways than my father has. He is manipulating and bullying you. He even forced his daughter to sign a contract in 2012 promising that: "I, Amira Khadla, will never let myself get fat. It feels so unnatural, as a mother myself, I have nothing but unconditional love for my children, whether I believe them to be right or wrong. My mother was hurling abuse at me during the same period of my early- to mid-20s, mainly about how nobody will be able to stand me for very long so Id better get used to being lonely. Just emotionally and physically. Ive had to cut all contact with my father. So if you must -- and it sounds like your razor wit is being sharpened on his withering torso even as we . I was so manipulated, I believed that my parents gave me a good childhood, and that it was my fault I was a screw up. So while it never ends, you can create a situation that makes it tolerable for you. Now I hope this glaring description will help me to finally leave before Ive allowed him to ruin our lives completely. At 22 I had a mental breakdown and psychotic episode diagnosed with psychotic depression. They are always sabotaging opportunities and diminishing accomplishments to the point of erasing them and preventing you from using them to advance your own life. Finally realized it wasnt me that was wanting in aboutmy 50th yr. Mock the narcissist. Good luck. Being rejected? Especially in your situation. It was really, REALLY hard, because he showed me from the moment I had a conscious thought, that I had to EARN his love, and that it was conditional. ( Hes hopeful that his Dad will change). Find people who can help you. right now im being financially dependent on him and he took every chance to highlight the point that im still dependent on him. During that time he never came to see what I built. But there is the possibility that he has changed with age. Andrew, This adventure you had with your father, is not really about him. I just want us to have a relationship again. I was crying because I was still hungry, and he was yelling because I had ruined the sofa. It is hard to give advice about this as you are the only one who knows what will make you feel good. I dont believe this thought pattern can be broken from a person who has shed themselves from anyone who would give opposing thoughts(would just curse people out and not speak to them ever again). .if I say its about him and that he has done things to upset me he completely changes and gets angry at me for criticising him . Taped to the speakers of the fast-food restaurant outlet, it reads, 'We are closed because I am quitting and I hate this job." She read my diary without my permission, and something about my writing really ticked her off, even though I never wrote anything bad. Could we maybe start to write or phone? I believe my mother is a borderline/narcissist, the perpetual victim, always specifying what I think or dont think for me, and capable of switching from lollipops and teddy bears to screaming hitting violent rage in about 5 seconds when, as a child or teenager, I dared to disagree. Deadbeat dads like Jeffery Nichols who was jailed in 1995 after racking up more than US$640,000 in unpaid child support have given fathers in custody battles a bad name. My father doesnt consider us (wife and children) his family, and rather wants to help his original family (parents, siblings, cousins), even when they estrange themselves from us. I hoovered thinking that he had changed, and I walked into an even worse situation than my younger years had been. Pls what do I do? In many of these families, the mother simply echoes the father as she feels uncertain of herself (due to his emotional abuse) and is afraid to take her husband on. Biggio: In the offseason, we really didn't talk about baseball, because I played football and my dad was a really good football player in high school, so we pretty much talked about football . They remain ignorant to the fact that neither parent is on the kids side. And yes, it is biblical to do so . Its the damn truth and even family court judges, law guardians etc believe them and change custody to them! I can be a good person to those around me, but i have my moments and go out to my solitude. Once he came in drunk, got furious at me because I was reading a comic book (which id done hundreds of times) threw a huge tantrum and CALLED THE PRINCIPAL OF MY SCHOOL and got him to call me into his office the next day and give me a stern talking to. One of the game changing things I discovered was about complex post traumatic stress disorder/response. Please know that there are people out there that understand and support you and I wish you well. Youll be fine. He has found a new way to hurt me by unleashing his madness on my son and treating him in the same fashion as he has treated me. My self-esteem went higher without my father lies. Its wonderful when goodness wins!! The strength of character of a crack addict I may have to borrow that. At 9 years old, I had no idea what frigid meant. My mom was afraid of loosing me forever, so she convinced him that the physical violence had to stop. If I wanted to date or see a friend, I wouldnt give him a ton of information. A Scorpion is a Scorpion is a scorpion. Regardless. It appears I am the scapegoat and my brother the golden child. Im tired of their toxic behaviour. He committed suicide and my father got even worse. But I can tell that hes trying to take that away too but I wont let him. The scorpion promises the fox he will not do that, to trust him. Vladimir, I admire you so very very much. SO its just another kind of mental abuse. She made sure I always had a voice with her. I gave up trying to get any love or approval from these pathetic creatures. I spent 4 months in hospital after suicide attempts and had electric shock therapy. You start liking yourself and respect yourself for having the courage to learn about NPD and seek steps to be free from it (no contact anfmd grey rock answers are best so the narc supply has no emotion from you to feed off of.) About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features Press Copyright Contact us Creators . I am depressed and developed anxiety worrying if Im goof enough. Its so complicated that makes you want to pull out your hair. The disharmony with my younger sister and me was normal kid and sister stuff, the difference being, we were both being abused, long-term, and were overseen by a bunch of narcs. They do not perceive taking advantage of you, as they regard that leading you along was a legitimate part of their work effort, and that is all. He came to one of my sports (b-ball) games once when I was 14 even though I was really really good and played in college he used to tell my that it was a waste of time. God bless everyone else who has to deal with a narcissistic mom/dad. Im trapped here. Hes pure evil. Today I am a guy empty on the inside, my soul amd health are completely ruined and scrambled. So hard to stay strong and see it for it is. When My dad died, when I was 11, it probably helped protect my psyche, from the abuse some of the oldest siblings suffered. I had spilt my milk bottle all over the sofa that I was sitting on, and he went mental. Thats the person I want to hear from!! Im constantly amazed at his willingness to spend time with me now. My brother is and was the Golden Child. My father is in mission to destroy my well being as far as i can remember, he started with beating me up until my college years when i started fighting back and he mustve figured i can defend myself now so he resorted to emotional abuse, he forcefully directed bad people in my life, blackmailed me and still tries to control every single thing i do.
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